Thursday, April 4, 2013

Why So Angry?

  Have you ever noticed that sometimes we seem happy to be angry? When in a dark mood, we refuse to be drawn out and even resent anyone trying to lure us from our den of dissatisfaction? How there is an almost gleeful lilt to our voice as we retell the putting of this person or that, stranger or loved one alike,  "in their place?" How clever we can feel. That rush of pure destructive energy as we lock in on our newest target? No? Is it just me? How happy people can just piss you off? Why do you think that is I wonder? I was thinking on this very thing this morning. Why do some people seem to take joy in being angry and if anyone dares to try and relieve them of that burden, well there is going to be hell to pay. It is as if that person so intent on making our day brighter is actually a thief. A thief bent on stealing our bad feelings and trying to replace them with good. That of course we know are counterfeit. Being miserable is a genuine emotion. While happiness appears to be that elusive dream that never comes true.

  Anger is like a long legged spider. With thin hairs on it's legs that twitch this way and that through out the day. Always looking for it's next victim. It has spun a wide web of a sticky substance and there it waits. Tense and taunt, for the slightest morsel to fall upon. Wrapping the unsuspecting in a tight woven prison. Incased in hate and poison. A snack for another day. Some spiders collect dozens of these missteps and misunderstandings, waiting...always waiting for that moment when the wrong wind blows the wrong way and then, with great intent of malice, that spider flings itself forward all jaw and venom. The stunned captive may have no idea exactly what their trespass was. Spiders do not care to explain such trivial things.

  Whatever the cause, a missed turn or a forgotten phone call, it makes no matter. It was never about the thing the spider catches you see. No, it is about the spiders ability to kill all dreams and joy. To drain happiness out of others. Why, do you ask would a spider named Anger do such a thing? Well, at first glance I would say, because it can. But, that is really not so. It is because anger needs to be sustained. It needs new victims to draw energy from. There is a sense of power involved in passing on a poisonous spirit. It is a sad badge of dishonor and yet one that can be hard to relinquish. Anger's parents are powerlessness and worthlessness. Sometimes there is a cross breed of disappointment and emotional pain. Anger is born purely to cause change. That is it's true intent. However, being a contrary creature, it tries to hold fast to spite and envy, instead of using these things to drive itself forward into a better life. No, Anger is intent on wallowing in it's on stewed juices. There comes a day though when others decide to Spring clean and in that time of renewal, the ways of the spider must change, It can either continue to gorge on fear and site. Growing so large it's appendages can no longer hold it's own weight.
Or finding the constant diet of disdain and despair unsatisfying, it will scuttle off to regions unknown. If the arachnid chooses to stay and continue it's gluttony, it will be swept out of first one person's life and then another. Never finding peace or rest as it wears out it's welcome and chaffs ones conscience.

  If however, it chooses to leave of it's own accord, then the void left in it's wake can be filled with something of more value. Be slow to take in anger and quick to send it packing. It has nothing of quality for you and in fact will steal great swatches of your blessings. Be they people or opportunity, anger will cut you off from all the things that you want in life and give you nothing but lonely regret in it's place. Anger is a great tool, if you can harness it to do something positive. If it causes you to do your own cleaning spree. Casting out those that bring no love or joy to you and only bring hardship. That is the rightful use of anger. That is it's purpose. Of course there are different species of anger. And you may not know exactly which one you have. Then it is time to break out the magnifying glass and examine it's cause. When I find myself annoyed with no clear rationale for it, I must stop and ask myself "what is this really about?" I often surprise myself. It is never what I think it is on first inspection. It always comes back to that genesis of origin. I am feeling powerless, worthless, helpless or maltreated. Once I can discover it's reason, it is easy to send it on it's way.

  Do not make anger your companion. You will both be miserable.

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