Love is Love
So, the next few days are important. They should not be. They should not have to be, but none the less they are. The next two days will be given over to watching news feeds and pundits talk about how other people should live and who is worth what. It amazes me that in the wonderful country we live in that it is actually something that has to be decided by the Supreme Court. Honestly, I am embarrassed. We are better than this. We are a caring, compassionate people who love our freedoms. Unfortunately, some of us have decided that it is their right to both, judge and deny others their rights. And say it is all in the name of God, or the sanctity of marriage. It is very hard when I hear that last line to keep my composure. Let me tell you what is harming the state of marriage. Spending your time surfing porn instead of spending time with your spouse, that will harm your marriage. Treating your spouse like a servant or in some way not your equal, not good for your union. Flirting with the waitstaff while out with your family and friends, also not good. Constantly putting the person you vowed to love and cherish on the bottom of your list of priorities, will definitely lessen the life expectancy of your marriage. If you are earnest in your wish to protect your own union, then spend your time tending it.
You know what has absolutely no affect on your marriage? Anyone else's marriage. Now let me tell you something here that really offends me, That first list of things that I gave you, the one that really will affect the out come of your union, they all have one thing in common. They all depend on YOU. You must put someone else first. You must live by your vows and actually love someone more than yourself. That is the bargain you made when you said I do. It baffles me that pundits can whine on about a "Nanny State", and then in the next breath start dictating how others should live their lives and always, always it never fails, they site both their religion and their rights. We should all be living our lives by a set of rules that they set up for us, because that is what their faith dictates. Let me call bullshit.You are the only one responsible for your relationship with the deity of your choice. The only thing in this life that you can control is yourself. Try it, it is harder than you think.
I get a little worked up over this one, because I too believe in God and I know without reservation that God is not offended by love. He is however not happy with hate. It is ridiculous that a group of self appointed pseudo saviors would scream from the mountain tops that their rights are being infringed, even as they are the ones trying to take away another groups. That they somehow convince themselves that they are making this world a better place by spewing hate is too much for me. I do not have the ability to suspend reality and logic to understand that mindset. I am not really sure which of us is supposed to be stupid in that premise. The person peddling it, or the one who is supposed to believe it.
It you are worried about your marriage, nurture. Be kind. Be loving. If you want to make this a better world, follow that same set of actions with everyone you encounter. Hate never made anything better. Hate is corrosive. It takes away joy and peace and love. It robs it's host of a full and fulfilling life. It creates a constant battle between the carrier and the world they live in. It creates a bitter individual who can no longer see past their own nose at the damage they do.
When I was a good deal younger and far more foolish, I actually believed some of these worn out excuses used as camouflage to hid their real purpose. All this talk of sin and judgment is really just a ploy to cover up our own wrongs. It is a valve that releases some of our own anger and pain. We use big words to make ourselves small. It is a sad thing to see. I had to step outside of myself. To see children, teenager sit in my living room and cry not wanting to betray their own parents by repeating the horrid things that had been said to them by the people who are supposed to love them best. I have seen them as they stuttered through asking if they could stay. Some with only the clothes on their backs. Others arrived on my door step garbage bags full of clothes. Their parent never getting out of the car and never looking back as they drove away from their child.
I cannot tell you how they changed me. These beautiful, hurting souls. I keep up with many of them still. Some have made peace with their families and some I fear never will. It is hard to find words to comfort a child who's families have disowned them for their honesty. What I would come to learn is these wonderful beings were taught to hate themselves and that if many of them could change, it they could be what their parents wanted them to be, they most certainly would. Even as they were at their lowest they taught me lessons I will always value. They blessed me with understanding and empathy that I did not have before they came into my life. I am honored that they allowed me to love them. To mother them. That they let down their guard when they really should not have and let me know who they were. Much love to all the rainbow children. If you cannot bring yourself to be kind, if you cannot empathize with people who are told that they are bad and wrong and worse then please, just shut it. Nobody needs one more bath of hate. Steep in it if you must, but control yourself enough to allow others to enjoy what was given you with no reserve. The world is changing. Choose love not hate.
Make this world a better place by leaving nothing but love in your wake. You are a collection of your words, which are a reflection of your soul. How did you fair today?